Their shockingly straightforward interaction goes down like this, as quoted from the book by Pajiba: In the notorious scene, Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele get it on in the bathroom, not in spite of Ana having her period, because she has her period. So when we saw a video made back in 2012 that Uproxx unrooted recreating the infamous tampon scene from Fifty Shades of Grey using The Sims, speech bubbles, and Microsoft Paint illustrations, we knew that this was a creation brought to us not by any means of supply and demand, but by destiny. What do we think it is? Steele? That's my guess.There are some things in life that universally no one asks for-mosquitos, pointless reply-all emails, sketchy fan-made videos, etc. When Ana and Christian visit the grave of his birth mother, Ella, her last name is conveniently covered by foliage. Not to keep poking at plot holes in a movie that's obviously just for fun, but this foster care backstory makes zero sense with what we have already established about how Christian came to be adopted by the Greys. Did I crack the Da Vinci code? Can I have a MacArthur genius grant? You're welcome for this stunning insight.Ģ9. I just put it together that Kim Basinger's character, Elena Lincoln, has the initials E.L. Marcia Gay Harden, regal and resplendent in a silk scarf, pronounces tenacious like "tenacioussssssssssssssssss." Why didn't we get more screen time with her?Ģ8. There's a version of this story in which Ana dies and Christian, wracked with guilt and pain, uses his fortune to become Batman. Why? I'm having trouble reconciling this.Ģ6. The strangest thing, though, is that they bandage it over her hair. When we see Ana get wheeled into surgery (for being kicked?), they also bandage her head because, I guess, she hit her head on the ground. As Ana calls Christian out for his immaturity while putting on her stockings and boots, but all I can think is, Great boots. Rita Ora and Ana's one guy friend, José (who has maybe one line in this movie), play chess on the plane back from Aspen. Oh, and now I want a wand that makes your hair do that wavy-curly thing her hair does! Where can I get something like that?Ģ3. It makes me want to invest in a lot of expensive sheer stockings and a watch with no numbers on the face. When Ana is dressing down that same architect, she calls the woman's car "shit-colored." It's out of character, but is this Ana's best burn in the series?ġ2. When we meet the architect Gia Matteo, who will be renovating their big house, she takes Christian by the arm and purrs, "That GQ profile on you? I love…what you're doing in Africa." What is he doing in Africa?ġ1. Ana never works, so…how did she get a promotion?ġ0. Ana's coworker Liz informs her that she got a promotion while she was on her honeymoon, to which Ana responds, "I got a promotion?" Liz replies with "And you weren't even here." Liz makes a good point. So she responds to Ana's request that they find someplace for Sawyer to sit by saying, "I might have an opening." I would 100 percent watch a rom-com spin-off about the sexy adventures of Hanna and Sawyer. Hanna, Ana's unabashedly horny assistant, is hot for Ana's (very attractive) bodyguard Sawyer. What would happen if he just, like, chilled for a minute?Ĩ. Why? I assume this is a thing from the books, but they never say in the movie.ħ.Oh my God, we get it: Christian is possessive and controlling. Christian braids Ana's hair before they bang.
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